I have mentioned before in a post long ago a story involving a family member of mine. I thought it would be truly special to share with all of you this beautiful story. I chose to share this story with my readers because it a story that truly moves me and inspires me.
Meet my 2nd cousin Merideth, her husband Chris and their three children Anthony, Matthew, and Gary. Initially you probably look at this picture and think, "Oh what a cute, little hockey loving family!" What you don't see in this picture is how truly giving, unique, and wonderful this family really is. Back in the day when our family had routine family reunions before the passing of my favorite uncle, Junior and his wife Vera (who were Merideth's grandparents) Merideth's son Anthony was my little buddy. We used to sit at a picnic table at the park and just chat away for hours. Man, he could come up with stories, but then again what 5 year old can't?
So I bet you are wondering why am I talking about Merideth and her family and why are they such a wonderful family unit? Well that's because Merideth and her family made a decision in 2010 to do something completely selfless for another couple that will impact the lives of everyone around them forever.
In 2004, Merideth's Mom and her significant other, Wayne began building a house. Next to them another couple Greg and Eric were building a house as well. In 2005, both couples moved in to their new neighborhood. Shortly after moving in to their new home Greg and Eric took the trip next door to introduce themselves to their new neighbors, when this took place Merideth was present. It didn't take Merideth long to pick up on the fact that Greg and Eric were in a relationship. She quickly revealed this to her Mom and her boyfriend, Wayne. From there a friendship quickly formed between the five of them. Greg and Eric would often talk about how they wanted to raise children and jokingly would make remarks about borrowing Merideth's uterus to do so. Merideth's children Anthony, Matthew, and Gary love Greg and Eric very much and Merideth says they have been like Uncles to her boys. After seeing the way that Greg and Eric were with her own children Merideth began to toss around the idea of actually letting them "use her uterus." She mentioned the idea to her mother who was worried for Merideth's health and for her children and husband. She also mentioned the idea to Wayne, who over time had grown to be very accepting of Greg and Eric but still did not think that they should raise children as a couple. After these discussions Merideth put the thought of doing this for Greg and Eric in to the back of her head until November of 2009 when Wayne passed away.
In January of 2010 she decided for sure to let Greg and Eric know she was willing to be let them "use her uterus." Initially their plan was to use Merideth's eggs and use either Greg or Eric's sperms. At this time the lengthy process began. Greg and Eric contacted a lawyer to start the process of battling all of the legal issues. Through all of this they discovered that according to Ohio law because she was the egg donor and would be the birth mother of the child she would have to be on the birth certificate until she was proven unfit. Doing this would have jeopardized her own children. So the new task became finding an egg donor.
Finally in June of 2010 all of the screening and testing took place. Greg's sister volunteered to donate her eggs and Eric's sperm were tested and passed. However, there ended up being an issue with Greg's sisters eggs and their age. Merideth and Greg's sister then had to get on the same cycle by taking medication. Everyday until the transfer Merideth was taking medication orally and intravenously. Finally! in December of 2010 eggs were retrieved!
Above are "the goods" as Merideth refers to them. On December 11, 2010 they transferred 3 eggs to Merideth. The chances of one "good" egg sticking was around 50%, getting 2 more to stick was less than 20%. Merideth, Greg, and Eric had all agreed that if for some reason all 3 eggs happened to take there would be a selective reduction to ensure the health of Merideth and the other eggs.
On December 22nd Merideth had her first round of blood work done, at this time she had already taken 3 home tests that came up positive, her HCG levels were so high they confirmed that she was carrying multiples!!! On January 6th she had her first ultrasound that showed she was carrying twins!
On January 24th she began her routine visits with her fertility doctor, her ob and of course numerous ultra sounds. Finally in February she graduated from the fertility clinic and was released to her OB.
In her first month of pregnancy she gained 60 pounds but other than that everything in the pregnancy was smooth sailing! Well except for dealing with the weight gain, massive amounts of swelling and loosing the support of several family members.
Baby A and Baby B are due August 31st and currently Merideth is going weekly to her OB. Currently Baby A is head down and Baby B is breach, which means she SHOULD be able to deliver both babies vaginally.
Greg and Eric couldn't be happier to know that they will soon be the fathers of twin boys!!! Merideth says, "These babies will be loved by so many people!"
Now let's talk about the other side of things. The toll this has taken on Merideth, Chris, Anthony, Gary, and Matthew. Merideth wrote me in a message and said, "I have had a hard time and my family has. Its been hard on my boys! They have not been able to do much this summer due to the fact that I have days where I cannot get off the couch. Or I am too tired to do anything. The heat has me housebound most days anyways. My husband has had to do stuff he never imagined he would have too, we all have. I am not sure anyone can be fully aware of what it takes to be a surrogate. I cannot imagine how some women do this as their job. I do know a lady that is on her 3rd surrogacy. I would imagine if you are making over $50,000.00 it might be a little easier to deal with."
Greg and Eric have been there as much as they can for her every step of the way, but they obviously cannot be there for her and her family 24/7.
She says that everyone always asks her, "Won't you want to keep the babies?" Her response is, " NO! I have never been a sensitive pregnant person. Like ooo look at my belly, aww talk to it...etc. Nope that's not me. Granted I do take care of the babies inside but for me attachment comes once they are out! Once they are real. That's how it was with my children. Let me bond with them when we are home. We have planned on me being Aunt Merideth or whatever roll I choose to fill. I will not be there for them to help parent! They know that is their job and their help needs to come from their families and friends."
I asked her how her children are handling this whole idea and she says, "I laugh thinking of a parent teacher conference with Matthew's teachers. They asked me about having babies and why I would give them up, was there something wrong with the babies. It took me a minute to think about how a child might portray this. I had to inform the teachers that I was a surrogate, that the babies are not mine that I was not getting pregnant just to give them up. The boys have been good about learning and asking questions since then. They probably have learned and seen more than they should. They think its great that Greg and Eric are going to have babies. They understand that they are not getting more brothers! They think its great!! Their only downfall is not being able to do and go places like “normal” kids do in the summer. They have learned that if I need a nap, I really need a nap. That if I do yell, that I am sorry!"
Perhaps the hardest one to adjust other than Merideth herself is her husband, Chris. She says, "Well he knows how moody I can be. He knows how stressful this has been and has been great. He has given up coming home to a clean house. He knows that the only way the floors are going to be cleaned is for him to do it. He has had to adjust to a lot. They all have. We just have to keep thinking that its almost over and what we are doing is a wonderful thing! That is how we are getting through!"
Meet the proud fathers Greg (left) and Eric (right) with of course Merideth in the middle. In case you are wondering her shirt is awesome and is available from Cafe Press!
I personally am so proud to know that their are people in this world that can recognize a loving couple who deserve the right to raise a child or children. I'm also crazy proud to know that someone I personally know is willing to so selflessly give two people the chance to raise their own children.
